One of the questions I see most often in women’s groups and chats is: “Should I pursue this career path?” It’s usually followed by a cascade of familiar doubts — Do I have enough experience? What if I fail? Am I even the kind of person who belongs in that space? These questions aren’t about logistics. They’re about transformation.
Lately, I’ve been reading about what philosopher L.A. Paul calls “The Vampire Decision,” and it reframed how I think about these moments — especially for women standing at the edge of a new chapter in their careers.
Imagine being offered the chance to become a vampire. You’d gain immortality and superhuman powers — but you’d lose your humanity. The catch? You can’t know what it’s like to be a vampire until you’ve become one, and once you do, you can never go back. That’s the dilemma Paul explores. She uses this thought experiment to illustrate her broader theory of transformative experience — the idea that some life choices are so profound, they change who you are at a fundamental level.
Parenthood, migration, faith, medical transition, even changing careers — these are all “vampire decisions.” They’re choices where your future self becomes almost a stranger to your current one. You can’t rationally predict how it will feel, because you haven’t yet lived the experience that would give you the knowledge to evaluate it. The metaphor might be supernatural, but the experience is entirely human.
So many women hesitate to make a leap because they think they don’t know enough yet. But the Vampire Decision tells us: you can’t know enough. Not really. The person you are now doesn’t have access to the perspective of the person you’ll become. You can gather data, listen to advice, or read every book under the sun — but you’ll still be making a leap into uncertainty. And that’s okay. Because the goal isn’t to know. The goal is to become.
When you start down a new path — a trade, motorsport, leadership, business — you aren’t just learning a skill. You’re reshaping your identity. You’re letting the smoke out of the box — and it’s wildly uncomfortable trying to squeeze back in once you do.
And when that little voice of doubt starts whispering that you’re not ready, remember the mantra gaining momentum in feminist circles: approach this with the confidence of a mediocre man. Because sometimes the only qualification you need is the courage to start. Motivation is found in momentum — if you don’t start, you’ll never start.
Once you’ve seen what you’re capable of — even if you fail a few times — you can’t unsee it. You can’t unknow it. We often treat “career decisions” like they’re linear, rational, predictable. But in reality, they’re deeply human. Messy. Emotional. Transformative. Once you step into the unknown, you start becoming someone new. And the process of becoming that person — the one who takes risks, learns on the fly, and keeps showing up — that’s the real reward.
If all transformative decisions are unknowable, how do we make them? Here’s a framework that works for me: talk to someone who wants to talk you out of it — they’ll show you the risks you might not have seen. Talk to someone who wants to talk you into it — they’ll remind you why you were drawn to it in the first place. And talk to someone who’s already walked the path — they can’t tell you exactly what it will be like, but they can tell you what boots to wear.
Then, whatever you decide, own it. Make peace with the fact that you made the best decision you could with the information available. The rest? That’s growth.
The Vampire Decision reminds us that transformation doesn’t wait for certainty. It waits for courage. Whether you’re changing industries, chasing a motorsport licence, or walking into your first workshop job, the question isn’t “Will I succeed?” — it’s “Who will I become by trying?”
The work is in showing up for that process every day — committing wholeheartedly to the task in front of you. Invest in your tools and your knowledge. Ask yourself: what does your future self know? Learn it. What does your future self do? Do it. What habits does your future self hold you accountable to? Start forming them now. Because resilience isn’t built by avoiding challenge — it’s forged in the act of participation, in choosing to keep going when the road changes you.
Because the real answer to “Should I pursue this?” isn’t revealed in a social media chat group or someone else’s story. It’s written in the version of you waiting on the other side of the unknown — the one who dared to choose transformation over fear.
Bridget Bell is a seasoned motorsport media professional and a skilled mechanic, with over a decade of experience in On-Air Hosting, Event Hosting, Television Presenting and Commentating. Passionate about supporting women in both the industry and motorsport, Bridget volunteers as a mentor and actively champions female representation.
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