How Self-Silencing Harms Women’s Health and Careers
Self-silencing is more than just keeping quiet; it’s a deeply ingrained behaviour, shaped by societal norms, where women suppress their voices to avoid conflict or meet expectations. While this may seem like a way to maintain peace, the reality is far more damaging. Self-silencing takes a toll on both mental and physical health, limits career growth, and perpetuates inequities—especially in male-dominated fields like motoring and motorsports.
But it doesn’t have to stay this way. Understanding the dangers of self-silencing and learning to advocate for yourself are the first steps toward empowerment, health, and success.
What Is Self-Silencing?
At its core, self-silencing involves suppressing your thoughts, needs, or feelings to please others or avoid perceived confrontation. You may keep quiet in meetings, shy away from highlighting your achievements, or avoid asking for the resources or support you need. Over time, this behaviour can erode confidence, hinder growth, and create a cycle that’s hard to break.
For women working in trades, motorsports, or other male-dominated industries, self-silencing often comes with an added layer of pressure—to fit in, to not disrupt the balance, or to prove oneself without asking for help. These unspoken rules are not only unfair—they’re harmful.
The Health Costs of Staying Silent
Silencing yourself doesn’t just affect your career—it takes a serious toll on your health.
Mental Health Effects
Women who self-silence often carry an invisible burden of stress and anxiety. Suppressing emotions increases the risk of depression and can lead to feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem. These effects ripple into relationships too, creating barriers to meaningful communication and emotional connection.
Physical Health Effects
The physical consequences are just as alarming. Research has linked self-silencing to cardiovascular issues like heart disease and chronic illnesses such as fatigue and irritable bowel syndrome. Shockingly, women who habitually suppress their emotions in conflict are at a higher risk of early death. The connection is clear: suppressing your voice suppresses your well-being.
Why Speaking Up Matters
Breaking the silence isn’t just about protecting your health; it’s about claiming your space, your worth, and your potential. Advocating for yourself ensures that your skills are recognised, your needs are met, and your contributions are valued.
For apprentices or women early in their careers, self-advocacy might look like asking for training opportunities, sharing ideas confidently, or demonstrating readiness for more complex tasks. For experienced professionals, it might involve negotiating a raise, pitching innovative solutions, or mentoring others to break the cycle of silence.
The Courage to Speak: Lessons from Adlerian Psychology
Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi’s *The Courage to Be Disliked* offers valuable insights into why self-silencing happens and how to overcome it. The book teaches that self-worth doesn’t come from external validation but from within—accepting yourself, flaws and all.
Self-Acceptance as the Foundation: Recognising your worth empowers you to advocate for your needs without fear of judgment. This mindset is crucial in male-dominated environments.
The Courage to Be Disliked: Letting go of the need to please everyone frees you to focus on what truly matters—your goals, health, and growth.
Practical Strategies for Breaking the Silence
Instead of defaulting to quiet, here’s how you can reclaim your voice:
1. Start Small: Begin by speaking up in low-risk settings, like casual team discussions. Build confidence incrementally.
2. Practice Assertiveness: Use “I” statements to express your needs without assigning blame. For example, “I feel unsupported when…” instead of “You never support me.”
3. Document Your Wins: Keep track of your achievements and use them to bolster your confidence and negotiations.
4. Seek Support: Lean on mentors or allies who can champion your growth.
5. Invest in Yourself: Whether it’s buying tools, taking extra training, or reading industry literature, show your commitment to your development.
Overcoming Barriers to Advocacy
Self-advocacy isn’t always easy, especially when fear of judgment or “imposter syndrome” creeps in. Here’s how to navigate these challenges:
Reframe Fear: Recognise that advocating for yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. If you don’t voice your needs, who will?
Balance Humility and Confidence: Highlight achievements as part of team success to build inclusion while showcasing your contributions.
Rely on Results: Let your consistent, high-quality work speak for itself—and highlight it at key moments.
Balancing Humility and Confidence
Advocating for yourself doesn’t mean overshadowing others or becoming boastful—it’s about recognising and communicating your value while fostering inclusion. Striking this balance is essential for being heard without being perceived as self-serving.
“Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.”
In the context of self-advocacy, this means understanding your worth but framing your contributions as part of the bigger picture. Highlight your achievements as they relate to team success or organisational goals, ensuring that your advocacy uplifts both yourself and others.
Self-Advocacy as a Team Effort
Once you’ve found your voice, use it to uplift others. By advocating for yourself, you create space for others to do the same. In male-dominated industries, this kind of collective support fosters a culture of inclusivity and empowerment.
For apprentices, the message is clear: take ownership of your learning. Employers are more likely to invest in those who show initiative. Speak up, seek opportunities, and prove your commitment to growth. Your career depends on it.
Stepping into the motoring sphere wasn’t just a career move for me—it was like entering a world with its own language. The terminology, expressions, and ways of communicating felt entirely foreign. It was humbling to realise that, despite being articulate in my daily life, I stumbled over words in this new context. Speaking up felt like climbing a mountain. It often felt isolating.
Writing in this “new language” came more naturally at first, emails, reports, and job cards, allowing me to gather my thoughts and express them clearly. But speaking? That was harder. I worried about how I sounded, if I would be taken seriously, or if my mistakes would undermine my credibility. Over time, and with persistence, I began to find my voice. It took practice, courage, and a lot of mistakes along the way. Slowly, I built confidence, and with it came the ability to advocate for myself effectively.
One of my favourite unintended positives from this journey is how it shaped my approach to speaking up. Early on, I realised that I only spoke when I knew I had something valuable to contribute or was confident in what I was saying. To this day, it’s not uncommon for me to share an idea, only for the recipient to pause, surprised, and say, “That’s not a bad idea.” My reply? “I don’t have bad ideas.”
This mindset—valuing my voice and ensuring it’s used thoughtfully—has become one of my greatest strengths. It’s taught me to trust my instincts, value my contributions, and approach communication with purpose and intention.
If you’re feeling like you’re struggling to express yourself in a male-dominated space, I want you to know it’s okay to feel out of place at first. Learning the “language” of an industry takes time, and self-advocacy is a skill that grows with practice. Start small, whether it’s writing down your thoughts or rehearsing your ideas before a conversation. Find allies—mentors, colleagues, or peers—who can support you as you learn. And remember, every time you speak up, you’re not just finding your voice; you’re showing others that it’s possible to break through barriers.
Advocating for yourself isn’t just about asking for what you deserve—it’s about building a foundation of confidence that allows you to thrive. The journey may feel uncomfortable at times, but it’s worth it. You’ll find that with each step, the fear lessens, your voice grows stronger, and the mountain you’re climbing becomes less daunting.
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Bridget Bell is a seasoned motorsport media professional and a skilled mechanic, with over a decade of experience in On-Air Hosting, Event Hosting, Television Presenting and Commentating. Passionate about supporting women in both the industry and motorsport, Bridget volunteers as a mentor and actively champions female representation.
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